Pumpkin Love

Seriously, why hasn't someone written a Dessert Treaty to resolve the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict?

The world has a problem with Iran? If President Obama knocked on Iran's front door with some hot cider donuts (of which I ate 6 on Saturday - Paleo Diet can kiss my patootie!), I guarantee any and all nuclear weapons would be handed over without a second thought.
Republicans and Democrats need to learn how to play nice? I assign the Democrats to make all the Republicans a warm batch of Snickerdoodles and the Republicans must make all the Democrats toffee crunch cookies. JUST YOU WATCH how quickly we suddenly have bipartisan cooperation! Health Care Reform would be agreed upon and signed before you could say, "Can I have a cold glass of milk?"

Here's my empirical research supporting my Dessert Solves All Problems hypothesis:

On Saturday, Jay and I had a tiff. I have since discovered, I was the one having the tiff - Jay just thought I was in a mood. In an effort to learn better communications, I will now leave Jay very clearly marked post-it notes by the toilet spelling out:
JAY, I AM ANGRY, BUT REFUSE TO COME OUT AND SAY I AM ANGRY BECAUSE IT IS YOUR DUTY TO FIGURE IT OUT BASED ON MY EXAGGERATED SIGHS, UNNECESSARY LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW, AND GENERAL FOLLOWING YOU AROUND THE APARTMENT WITH AN EXTRA THUMP IN MY STEP. OH, AND I AM ALSO FOLDING THE LAUNDRY WITH EXTREME VIGOR. LOVE, K
Why leave the note by the toilet? Because I know he will be visiting the toilet soon, and will have no other options but to take the time to read my passive aggressive declaration. His only other choice is to read old Fox Trot cartoons.

Back to my story - Jay and I had a tiff and after it was clear Jay didn't get my obvious cues that I needed him to get on his knees and tell me what a g-ddess I am, I felt the urge to leave the apartment. So, in the rain, I drove to East Waterboro to Raven Hill Orchard (www.ravenhillorchard.com).
EVERYONE MUST GET THERE SOMEDAY! This place was amazing! An adorable bakery, HUGE orchard, all organic, and heirloom varieties I've never heard of! I took my sweet time picking $35 worth of apples (my counter is now a shrine to all things applelicious), cooled off from my frustrations, and made my way home. Along the way, I recalled Jay mentioning his favorite sort of pie is pumpkin pie.

Let's get one thing straight - pumpkin pie is not a dessert I would go out of my way to eat. I find the texture icky, the gingery-y flavor makes my tongue crinkle, and the idea of making my own crust gives me small tumors along my frontal lobe. BUT, since I'm the BEST FIANCE EVER, I figured I would show Jay how much I forgave him by making pumpkin pie. Please, keep in mind, Jay had no idea what he had done wrong, had no real idea why I was angry, and I'm all but positive, he did not feel any need to apologize for anything. Silly rabbit. Someday he'll learn.

So, I did it. I made pie crust from scratch (it involved shortening... ewwww... better than the suggested 12 tablespoons of LARD, but still.... ewwww), whisked pumpkin puree with lots of whoknowswhats, and baked away until my entire apartment carried the scent of a bad Christmas Craft Fair. (Although, my cat did enjoy eating a couple spoonfuls of pumpkin puree - and I love Juliette more than life, so bringing her joy was a highlight.)
And it worked! Jay returned home from his studies (poor, poor bastard) and took down nearly half the pie in one shot. After said gulping o'pie, we got all snuggly and watched some Friday Night Lights (PS - remind me never to be a Texas highschool football player.). It was as if the morning's conflict had never occured. Well, in his mind, I suppose it actually HAD never occured - but that's neither here nor there.

We are all happy and in love again. All it took was one pie!

There you have it - conclusive evidence that dessert solves any and all problems! Think I could receive a federal science grant to open up Strong Cupcake for further research??? How long before our world leaders realize my sheer brilliance and come knocking on my door for guidance and to bask in the glow of my general awesomeness?

Just sayin'.....