Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Life is like a batch of biscuits...

...best when hot out of the oven, but still delicious with the aid of a toaster or microwave. And best made with Shipyard's Pumpkin Head.

Today's weather sucks a hard one. It's Maine's first real snow storm, and though my office was officially "closed" at 11am, I stuck around and did my social worker's finest for a few more hours. Fortune was smiling on me, because my fan-frikkin-tastic co-worker shared some chopped liver with me for lunch and it kept a smile on my face all the way through the slushy-ick-crap shoveling experience I had when I got home.
For those curious about chopped liver. I do not recommend Google Imaging this Jewish culinary masterpiece. You will puke. No, seriously - this stuff looks like vomit. Vomit eaten by a cat. Then, said vomit is pooped out. A dog comes along and eats the vomit-poop, and then vomits all on his own.
But it is DELICIOUS!

So, now that I've grossed you out - allow me to share my new favorite baking cheat. ANYTHING FROM TRADER JOE'S!!!!!!!! Seriously, I cry every night when I think of the huge loss the Portland community is experiencing by not having a Trader Joe's market attached to my house. The best food at the best prices - and their quick bread mixes make me want to kiss the dirty, pot smoking, lecherous, kinda-skeevy bagger that seems to be a universal character located at all Trader Joe's establishments. My newest discovery there - Beer Bread!!!

Jay is a good man. He works hard, saves his pennies, and is incredibly sweet and supportive. And he NEVER gives me flack about my physical health as he heads off to the gym and I hunker down in my pjs to watch Law and Order: SVU re-runs. (PS - Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni... I will lick the sweat off your gun holsters if you'd be my friend!!).
Last night, Jay got all decked out in his shorts and t-shirt (and heavy winter jacket) and headed off to the gym while I contemplated dinner. After I decided to give in to my egg salad and baked bean craving (who wants to guess what the bedroom smelled like last night?), I remembered having purchased some Trader Joe's Beer Bread Quick Mix and figured I would give it a whirl. Considering the same 3 bottles of beer have been sitting in our fridge for well over a year (Woot! Woot! Halloween Masquerade 2008!), I figured it was time to put them out of their misery.

Let me tell you - popping one of those beer biscuits in the microwave while trying to thaw out my feet has been ECSTACY! In fact, I'm off to have another.... and to continue to provide moral support to my favorite fictional NYC detectives. I especially love when Det. Stabler busts out his big, bulgy armguns and his tattoo does a little dance. (Really, guys, be my friend! I won't let you down - I'm WAY wittier than Richard Belzer!)

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